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Girls & Sex' And The Importance Of Talking To Young Women About Pleasure : NPRDAVID BIANCULLI, HOST: This is FRESH AIR. I'm David Bianculli editor of the website TV Worth Watching sitting in for Terry Gross. Today's guest, Peggy Orenstein has been chronicling the lives of girls for over 2. Her book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter," published in 2. Her latest book "Girls And Sex" has just come out in paperback. It looks at how pop culture and pornography affect the sexual expectations that girls put on themselves and that boys project on them.

A documentary about young women who have been drawn into the sex trade - and how easy it is for a web-savvy generation to end up making porn. We continue releasing stories shared by our female subscribers – young nudist girls who make it to the nude beach for the first time View. In the hope he or she’d.

Girls And Sex" opens with the author's confession that a few years ago, when she realized her daughter was heading towards adolescence, it put her in a bit of a panic because she'd heard so much about how girls were treated in the so called hook- up culture. So Peggy Orenstein began interviewing girls about their attitudes, expectations and early experiences with a full range of physical intimacy. She spoke with more than 7.

Terry Gross spoke with Peggy Orenstein last year when Orenstein's daughter was 1. Before we start, I want to let parents know that this conversation is about the pressures and expectations girls confront as they begin having sexual relationships and contains mentions of sexual behavior. Nothing explicit, but you might not find the conversation appropriate for children.(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)TERRY GROSS, HOST: Peggy Orenstein, welcome back to FRESH AIR. PEGGY ORENSTEIN: Thank you for having me back. GROSS: So if the princess was the pop- culture symbol that you were concerned about when your daughter was very young, what would you say is the pop- culture symbol now that concerns you now that your daughter is reaching her teens?

And are there any particular pop stars or celebrities that you're concerned are offering an image that girls are trying to emulate and maybe it's not a great idea? Watch Dirty 30 Online Hollywoodreporter. ORENSTEIN: You know, there are great pop stars and there are pop stars that I have concerns about. And one of the kind of fun things about doing the reporting with this book was arguing back and forth with the girls about whether the kind of image of hot that was being sold to them was transgressive or whether it was liberating. And I guess, you know, right now I'd say the person who embodies that and who drives the older generation that I guess I'm part of - crazy - is Kim Kardashian. And it was really interesting to me to watch the recent release she did on International Women's Day of her nude selfies.

I don't know if you paid attention to that. But what was interesting to me was that there was this argument over whether Kim was a feminist or Kim was a slut. Watch Mistaken For Strangers Online.

And I kept watching that and thinking, you know, why are those the only two options? And she would talk about - in her defense she would say, I'm proud of my body and I'm expressing my sexuality.

And those two lines were lines that I heard from girls a lot. And I was really taken by them because I kept thinking - you know, when a girl would show me a picture of herself dressed in the crop top and the - I started calling it the sorority girl uniform, the crop top and the little skirt and the high heels - and she would say, I'm proud of my body. And then a few minutes later she would say but if she gained a few pounds she would no longer want to dress like that because she'd be afraid that if she went to a party that some boys would called her what she said was, you know, the fat girl. And I started thinking, well, proud of your body but who gets to be proud of which body under what circumstances?

And how liberating is it if humiliation lurks right around the corner? And that idea of hot, that idea that we our bodies and that how our bodies look to other people is more important than how they feel to ourselves is something that an earlier generation might have protested against.

But today's generation is sold that as a form of personal empowerment and confidence. But because it's so disconnected from actual feeling within their body, I found that often for girls the confidence came off with their clothes. GROSS: Oh, that's interesting, especially since they're in a situation where they're having probably a lot more sex at a younger age than previous generations of girls.

ORENSTEIN: Well, yes and no. If you're talking about intercourse, kids are not having intercourse at a younger age. And they're not having more intercourse than they used to. They are engaging in other forms of sexual behavior younger and more often.

And one of the things that I became really clear on was that we have to broaden our definition of sex because by ignoring and denying these other forms of sexual behavior that kids are engaging in, we are opening the door to a lot of risky behavior and we're opening the door to a lot of disrespect. So when I would talk to girls for instance about oral sex, that was something that they were doing from a pretty young age, and it tended to go one way. And I got so sort of frustrated by hearing about that - and they did it for a lot of reasons. But I started saying, look, what if every time you were with a guy he told you to go get him a glass of water from the kitchen?

And he never offered to get you a glass of water. Or if he did he would say, (sighing) you want me to get you a glass of water? Friends Episodes Season 10 on this page.

I mean, you would never stand for it. And girls, they would bust out laughing when I said it, and they'd say, oh, I never thought about it that way.

And, you know, I thought, well, maybe you should if you think that being asked repeatedly to give somebody a glass of water without reciprocation is less insulting than being asked to perform a sexual act over and over. GROSS: So is that form of sex? Is oral sex not considered to be sex?

ORENSTEIN: No, it's considered to be less intimate than intercourse. And something that girls say repeatedly to me - they would say it's no big deal. And there's an argument that some of the girls have in the book about exactly what it is - you know, is it sex? Is it not sex? Is it no big deal?

Well, it's not not a big deal. But it's more of a big deal than kissing. But it was something that they felt that boys expected, that they could do to not have to do something else. It was a way that they felt - interestingly, they would talk about feeling more in control than if it was reciprocal because it was partly that boys weren't interested in reciprocity and it was partly that girls didn't want them to reciprocate.