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BTB's Morrowind Mod ListMorrowind Patched. In the beginning, there was Morrowind, and it was a buggy, godawful mess. And then Bethesda, the company responsible for said godawful mess, made a halfassed attempt to patch it, afterwhich it was.. Watch Dirty Deeds Online Ibtimes here. Bethesda then went on to be wildly successful by producing even more broken crap because Americans love crap and there's no money to be made in fixing any of it. And then The. Pal said, "let there be the Unofficial Morrowind Patch", and there was.

And it was good, for it fixed many of the game's countless bugs, both big and small. And then the Unofficial Morrowind Patch begat the Unofficial Unofficial Morrowind Patch, which was pretty much the same thing but with a dumber name. And then the Unofficial Unofficial Morrowind Patch begat the Morrowind Patch Project, wherin Quorn united all the community's numerous bugfix projects to stand against the forces of evil. And lo, the reign of the Morrowind Patch Project was long and prosperous. However, Quorn disappeared shortly after releasing a new beta version of the patch, and the kingdom then descended into darkness and chaos.

It was during these dark times that a prophet named BTB entered into the kingdom and came upon the beta patch in a temple. He saw that it was good, with only minor flaws that anybody with half a brain and thirty seconds of spare time could fix, and so he did. Figuring that Quorn would eventually return to the kingdom to reclaim what was rightfully his, the prophet BTB left the fixed beta patch in the temple as a gift and took leave of the kingdom, but he was stopped on the street by a beggar who bowed down to kiss his feet. BTB proclaimed unto the beggar that yea, he was not their messiah, but a crowd of lepers had gathered around him to thank him for healing them. The kingdom then called for a great tower to be erected in honor of the false prophet BTB for his great gift of the Morrowind Patch Project.

Angered, the gods cursed the kingdom with a plague of patches, scattering them upon the face of the Earth and confusing their goals, so that they would not be able to be used with each other. And the peasants left off building the tower to go build their own towers with blackjack and hookers, because the gods had confounded the language of all the kingdom of Morrowind. And then Slartibartfast descended verily from the heavens and proclaimed, "fuck this. Let there be one patch to rule them all!" and re- united all of the patches in the land under the title of Morrowind Patch Compilation. And then, in the year of our Lord 2. Slartibartfast bemoaned the inefficiency the fully- patched game and sought to slay this foul demon at its source by replacing - not patching over - the game's original master files.

And Slartibartfast led his army into battle against the unholy trinity of Morrowind. Tribunal. esm, and Bloodmoon. Standing victorious against his wicked opponents, he took the crown from Morrowind. Morrowind Patch Compilation. From this day forth," he declared, "thou shalt be known as Morrowind Patched!" And it was so. And it was fucking awesome. To summarize the above, Morrowind Patched is not a patch - it's the patch.

Not only does it combine the Morrowind Patch Project with literally every other bugfix mod ever (many of which were made by Slart himself, which put him in a good position to do this), but it also replaces the game's original master files with a single, unified Morrowind. This allows the game to load in a fraction of the time it did before since it's no longer reading shittons of useless data that just gets overwritten three and four times over. It also turns patching Morrowind from a nightmare of Lovecraftian proportions into a convenient one- stop shop. There's just one small catch to all of this: every other plugin (and master file) in existence (i. Slartibartfast's new empire). Thankfully, this problem has a very easy solution.

Just follow these easy steps. Download and install. Select a plugin in Wrye Mash and click on the window where its master files dependencies are displayed. Tribunal. esm and Bloodmoon.

Morrowind. esm should be highlighted in green. Repeat the above process for every plugin you have, not just those dependent on Tribunal and/or Bloodmoon. Punch yourself in the face for not doing this sooner (optional). As noted in step five, the above procedure should be applied to all of your plugins rather than just those dependent on Tribunal and Bloodmoon. This is because plugins will generate errors if they detect changes to the master files that they depend on, and Morrowind.

If you deleted Tribunal. Bloodmoon. esm after installing Morrowind Patched then simply clicking on the window where the master file dependencies are listed (i.

Morrowind Patched is the first mod that should be installed on any build, since several of the fixes that were brought together under the rule of King Quorn are to things like broken meshes that have since been obsoleted by the more recent grahpics mods on this list (which will thus overwrite those fixes when you install them). It should also be noted that our friends from south of el border will have an unfortunate problem with Morrowind Patched, as it will replace their entire game with one written in a language that they don't speak. While this issue. Slartibartfast, it would appear that non- gringos will probably have to stick with using just the regular. Morrowind Patch Compilation for the foreseeable future. Better Bodies. Better Bodies is one of the most popular mods available for Morrowind, and the reasons for this are readily apparent the moment you first lay eyes upon the moldy stick of beef jerky that you soon discover is actually your character.

For as good as they were at creating beautiful environments, Bethesda sucks some rather unholy ass when it comes to recreating the human (or inhuman) form. Luckily, the folks at Psychodog Studios suffer from no such lack of artistic talent. Better Bodies is usually available only as a self- extracting installer, which makes things easy since the multiple versions of the textures (non- nude, partially nude, and fully nude) add extra steps to the manual installation process.

The partially nude version only shows female characters naked while keeping underwear on the dudes, so it's a good choice for sexually insecure boys who would still like to see some titties. As for the non- nude version, I'd only recommend it for people who for some reason don't want to integrate masturbation in with their Morrowind time. And frankly, I don't think I want to be associated with anyone like that. The addon (that's a female symbol next to it, in case you were wondering) is "Extra High Resolution Female Textures for Better Bodies" (an unnecessarily long name which wouldn't fit in the space provided) by Cappucine and Westly. It's basically nakeder females than the ones provided by just regular Better Bodies. As with Better Bodies, you have a few choices, although they all involve nudity in this case. First, install Better Bodies and then copy over the "hands" textures from the addon to overwrite the ones installed by the former because everyone has hands and that much really isn't an option.

Following that, replace the body textures of the original mod with either the "hair" or "no hair" textures from the addon depending on whether you care about the carpet matching the drapes or if you'd just rather say "fuck it" and install linoleum. Finally, there's an alternate "bluer" dark elves texture (available as a separate download on the pages I link to) which seems to be intended for players who are sexually aroused by smurfs. Use it if you get a jolly from that sort of thing, I guess. There's one tiny bug in the original game that I should probably point out, by the way, as you're liable to actually notice it now.

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